Torn

Ivypaw opened her eyes on the second morning of her training. Today was just another day in her world. Yesterday hadn’t been as exciting as she thought it would be, in fact she preferred kit hood. Ivypaw spotted her mother, Rainbowstream, go to eat some prey with her father, Brambletail. As much as she wanted to go join them she couldn’t because her mentor, Leafheart was beckoning her from the shadows of the TallBoulder, the Clan meeting place.
It’s just another day in apprenticeship, she thought as she headed over there. Finally, with her slow-moving pace, Ivypaw reached Leafheart. From the look she was giving her Leafheart had noticed the slow walking and unhappiness toward training, but she didn’t mention it.
“You’re going to the Gathering,” Leafheart announced. From the look in her eyes it showed that she hadn’t chosen that. That hurt Ivypaw inside; she knew that if she kept this attitude up she would have no friends but her sisters. That thought reminded her that she promised Aloepaw and Fawnpaw that she would eat with them. She saw them beckoning her with their tails and she thought, what a coincidence.
Sharkpaw and Wingpaw were there as well. Ivypaw blushed when she thought of Sharkpaw; she had had a crush on him since kit hood when she opened her eyes. She thought he had a crush on her, but he had been hanging around with Fawnpaw since her apprentice’s ceremony and that’s what had put her in a bad mood.
I want to announce the news to the rest of the apprentices, she thought as she sat down.
“Guess what?!” she asked. ‘I’m going to the Gathering tonight.” Fawnpaw muttered “lucky” and Aloepaw had an awestruck look on her face. Wingpaw and Sharkpaw weren’t that excited because they had been apprentices for six moons and they each had been to a Gathering. But, even though they had been to Gatherings Sharkpaw still said, “That’s awesome; I’m going, too,”
Ivypaw’s heart had beat faster when he said awesome, and felt like it was going to explode when he said he was going, too. Jumpstar summoned her to his den and then told her to sleep.
Later that day Jumpstar was getting ready to go to the gathering when suddenly Ivypaw had an idea, she would talk to Sharkpaw on the way to the Gathering to see if he liked her or Fawnpaw. If he liked Fawnpaw she would go on living her normal life, but if he liked her she would, well, she would decide that when it happened.
They started toward the Gathering and luckily Sharkpaw ran over to talk to her. She asked him her question in a stuttering breathes.
“Well, Ivypaw,” he answered. “I liked you but then you started spending time with Skykit and I got over you and started liking Fawnpaw.”
Ivypaw felt sick, she had only been spending time with Skykit because he was sad that she had left the nursery, he only had about two more dawns until he was an apprentice so she figured to spare his feelings and to be nice that she would spend time with him. She did not love Skykit!
She couldn’t bear to look at him anymore so she looked away. She sped up and didn’t look back. There was a deep, sad, feeling in her chest and she tried to push it away. Finally, they reached the Gathering and Jumpstar gave the release with his tail and all of the MoonClan cats coming rained down on the Gathering.
BreezeClan was the only Clan there so far. Lionclaw walked up to Ivypaw and said told her to go talk to the other apprentices. So Ivypaw obeyed she saw a sturdy grey tom that look like an apprentice, so she walked over to him.
“Hello,” he mewed. “I’m Weatherpaw. Who are you?” he asked it in such a golden voice that Ivypaw couldn’t even think of her name. Finally, she chocked out “Ivypaw” and he smiled. She felt like one of those lovesick cats from the elder’s stories, even the part of loving a cat from a different Clan. She didn’t think he would like her if she kept her stuttery-mouth figure, so she tried a new approach.
“I’m from MoonClan, you must be from BreezeClan,” this time she was going for a smart cat. He obviously figured that out and a look in his said just be yourself, and she did. Until the actual Gathering started they conversed. Ivypaw found out that his mother was Cloverpelt and his father was Rockystar who was also his mentor. A lot of the Clan thought that was a bad choice but Weatherpaw was actually getting the best training ever. Weatherpaw now also knew all of her problems from her mentor to Blueflower’s eight kits. They knew everything about each other except Ivypaw’s problem with Sharkpaw and now there problem with each other.
“So, what do you think Blueflower should do about her kits?” Weatherpaw asked.
“I don’t know, I mean our Clan is so big. I personally think that Blueflower should give her kits to another Clan,” Ivypaw said and he smiled.
“You know, most cats don’t think it’s a bad thing to have a big Clan.”
“I know, but we won’t have mentors for all of them. And besides, if we get too big, all Clans will fear us and there will be no point in being a warrior.”
“Good point, Ivypaw. You know, I like you, maybe we could meet again.”
“What? You mean at the next Gathering?”
“No, silly Ivypaw, I mean a forbidden meeting,” Weatherpaw mewed and Ivypaw held her breathe. He really wants to see me again? I can’t believe it, she thought.
“Alright, but where?”
“Anywhere that’s easy to meet at for you. Maybe at the river?”
“Sure,” Ivypaw mewed. “Now, we have to go, I’ll see you at dawn tomorrow, Weatherpaw.” Ivypaw trotted off but she swore she saw Weatherpaw staring at her as she left.
Ivypaw ran into Sharkpaw on the way back to her Clan.
“Ivypaw,” he mewed. “ I really do like you, but why were you with Skykit so much?” He likes me, he like me! Ivypaw thought and her heat skipped a beat, but what about the handsome Weatherpaw? She really liked him, too and anyone could tell he liked her. Oh, well. I’ll think about this later, Ivypaw thought.
“Ivypaw, why did you spend so much time with Skykit?” Sharkpaw asked again.
“Oh, sorry Sharkpaw, zoned out. I spent time with Skykit because he was leaving the Nursery soon. I didn’t mean to offend you; just he was missing someone to play with.”
“He said he had no one to play with?” Sharkpaw asked and laughed. “He had his siblings, Greenflower’s kits, and Blueflower’s kits. You know he likes you, he just wants an excuse.”
“No way, he likes Flowerkit, anyone can tell.”
“No, oh, brilliant Ivypaw, he just uses that as an excuse.”
“Whatever, Sharkpaw, I like you, not Skykit,” Ivypaw mewed. But do I? My heart beats faster when he’s around and I am jealous when he says he likes someone else, but I also like Weatherpaw. He’s so dreamy and beautiful and his pelt shines.
“Ivypaw, wake up,” Sharkpaw mewed. “You really seem out of it today, did something happen?”
“No, just, you know, in awe of being at a Gathering.” It seemed too easy for Ivypaw to lie now. It seemed to come from her naturally, and it also didn’t bother her. Well, if I do end up with Weatherpaw I will have to do heavy lying or go and join his Clan. But, would I do that to Sharkpaw and to the rest of my Clan?
The leader’s had started talking but Ivypaw really wasn’t listening. She was looking at Weatherpaw and Sharkpaw, while thinking about if she would want to be with both or only one of them.
“Come on, Ivypaw, its time to go,” Swiftpelt mewed. Ivypaw went to go walk alone, she wanted more time to think. Sharkpaw is in my Clan, for one. But Weatherpaw is so charming and he confident, and his eyes… Ivypaw needed to stop thinking about him. She wished she didn’t like him, or he didn’t like her. It would be so much easier if Weatherpaw just got over her, or didn’t show up.
When Ivypaw reached camp she still didn’t want to talk. She just headed to her bed.
“Ivypaw, what was it like? The Gathering? Did you and Sharkpaw get together?” Aloepaw asked.
“Did you meet anyone cool?” Fawnpaw asked.
“Hey, guys, I’ll tell you tomorrow, but I’m really tired,” Ivypaw mewed. “But Sharkpaw likes me.”
“What? You’re really with him?” Fawnpaw asked.
“Yes, now go away, I’m trying to sleep.”
Fawnpaw and Aloepaw walked off, muttering.
Ivypaw was in a sleepy mood but she couldn’t get to sleep. The Gathering replayed over and over in her mind. I mean, getting two guys in a day is a big achievement, but it wasn’t too great for Ivypaw. I really wish that Sharkpaw liked Fawnpaw. I wouldn’t have to worry as much.

The next morning Ivypaw woke up to a back ache. She quickly stretched in case she had to patrol or hunt. Hunting, she repeated the word in her mind and her mouth started to water. Ivypaw climbed out of bed and went over to talk to her mentor. She didn’t know how to hunt and the rule for everyone besides elders, kits, and the leader had to hunt before they could eat.
“Leafheart, can you teach me how to hunt?” Ivypaw asked when she found her mentor.
“Why? I was planning fighting today,” she responded.
“I want to eat, and you know the rule.”
“Ivypaw, you mouse-brain, if you can’t hunt you don’t have to hunt before you eat. Go grab a bite and I’ll get you when we’re going to fight.”
“Alright,” Ivypaw mewed.
“Go eat, Sunpaw,” Leafheart mewed.
“I’m not Sunpaw, I’m Ivypaw.”
“Sorry,” Leafheart mewed. I wonder who Sunpaw is. Let’s see, she was probably… actually, I don’t have an idea. I’ll ask an elder or someone.
“See you later, Leafheart,” Ivypaw said. What’s my number one worry, who I like or who Sunpaw is? Well, I can’t solve the problem of whom I like now, so I may as well find out who Sunpaw is. Now, whom should I ask?
Ivypaw decided to go ask the elders. Nightshadow was asleep so she asked Flowerpetal.
“Who is Sunpaw?” Ivypaw asked.
“Sunpaw was a tom from BreezeClan. He and Leafheart, while she was Leafpaw, were mates and they ran off. Sunpaw was killed, though. Leafheart never told anyone how, but she was devastated,” Flowerpetal mewed.
“What? Leafheart ran off with a tom from another Clan? I thought she was always a ‘follow the warrior code whatever happens’ kind of cat.”
“She changed to that when she came back. But, you know Shimmerspark? She was Leafheart’s first apprentice.” Ivypaw nodded.
“Yes,” Flowerpetal continued. “She was interested in a tom from another Clan. Leafheart used to be really close to her, but then she started to love him. Nothing ever happened between Shimmerspark and that tom but Leafheart hated her after that. Well. Leafheart is jealous of anybody who has love.” Again, Ivypaw nodded. I now know why Leafheart hates me. She sees that I have something with Sharkpaw, and she’s jealous. I wonder if she knows about Weatherpaw?
Ivypaw saw Jumpstar up on TallBoulder and went to check out what was happening. While Ivypaw was in the Elder’s cave Jumpstar had made Wingpaw and Sharkpaw warriors. I’m so jealous. If I was a warrior I could have a mate. And I could be with Sharkpaw. Then Weatherpaw popped into her head. Did she want to be with Sharkpaw? Anyways, I want to be a warrior. Then, I could make my own choices.
Ivypaw was walking over to Sharkpaw to congratulate him when Leafheart stopped her.
“So, you know my secret? Well, go say congrats to your mate,” she said, her voice dripping with venom.
“Leafheart, you’re a pretty she-cat. There are many toms that would want to be your mate? Why do you have to be so hostile?” Leafheart ignored the question but Ivypaw could see that she was considering Ivypaw’s option.
“Go talk to Sharkwater and then meet me at the Sandy Hollow. Sharkwater, that’s a cool name. I wish I were a warrior. The only way that would happen is if I single-handedly defeated some threat.
“Ivypaw,” Sharkwater called.
“Hey,” she replied, smiling flirtatiously.
“You know, Ivypaw, now that I’m warriors, we could become official mates.”
“Yes, but…” Ivypaw said stuttering. “Um, I’m still an apprentice.”
“Ivypaw, you know the rule; only one of the pair has to be a warrior before they have kits,” Sharkwater said. I do know that, but I’m not sure I want to be with you. I need an excuse. Maybe, I could say I don’t believe in being mates before I’m a warrior. But that’s not true; I’ve been saying I want to be with him since I was a kit. Oh, shoot, Weatherpaw said he’d be a warrior soon, and then he’ll want me to come with him. Ivypaw thought. But, maybe he doesn’t like me; maybe he just wants to be friends. Oh, I’ll find out tomorrow at dawn.
“Uh, Sharkwater, give me until tomorrow to thin about it. You know, becoming mates is a big deal,” Ivypaw said.
“Ivypaw, don’t you love me?”
“Of course I do, but I’m just an apprentice, I might not want to be that serious yet.”
“Alright, love,” Sharkwater said.
Ivypaw turned and ran towards the Sandy Hollow, looking for Leafheart. She was trying to remember where it was. Finally, she reached the hollow and she saw Leafheart, standing there with a dark red-brown tom. One sniff told her that he was from BreezeClan. A red-brown tom in BreezeClan would be… Kindleheart! But, didn’t he have a mate. What was her name? Streamstripe, oh, right, she was his sister. Leafheart nuzzled him, but she saw Ivypaw.
“Ivypaw, get out of the shadows,” she commanded.
“What, who is she, Leafheart?” Kindleheart asked.
“Kindleheart, no worries, she’s just my apprentice. You won’t tell, will you, Ivypaw? I saw you with Weatherpaw.”
“No, Leafheart, I won’t tell. But there’s nothing going on with me and Weatherpaw.”
“Don’t lie, I saw your eyes when you looked at him. But you also like Sharkpaw in that way, don’t you?” A smile crept on to Leafheart’s face. “You have a choice to make as well. Do you want to know the truth about Sunpaw?”
“Yes, please, Leafheart,” Ivypaw said.
“Well, Sunpaw and I loved each other, and, as you know, we ran off together. That was before Kindleheart and his family joined the Clans. Well, I met Kindleheart and I loved him more than Sunpaw, so I killed Sunpaw.” Leafheart said it so simply, without any regret. “And since then, I’ve been with Kindleheart.” How could she kill a cat? Especially after she loved him? If I give up one of the guys I love, I would never kill either of them.
“And we are expecting kits,” Kindleheart mewed and Ivypaw almost feinted. What? How could Leafheart do that to me? To our Clan?
“But we’re not sure what to do,” Leafheart added. “Kindleheart says that we should run away together, but I don’t want to do that again. I think I should pretend to mate with some tom in our Clan, or just leave the father unknown.”
“Oh, but Leafheart, I want to be with you forever,” Kindleheart mewed. They went on arguing and Ivypaw drifted into thought. If I became mates with Weatherpaw what would I do? I know I wouldn’t get pregnant, unless I wanted to change Clans.
“Alright, Kindleheart, I think you should leave.”
“Goodbye, Leafheart and Ivypaw, I will see you soon,” Kindleheart mewed and strode into the bushes.